


You Say

by Viridian5



Category: Andromeda
Genre: Eureka Maru, Gen, Humor, Pre-Andromeda, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-12-15
Updated: 2002-12-15
Packaged: 2017-10-02 09:44:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viridian5/pseuds/Viridian5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the law comes knocking for Beka, Harper’s her best weapon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Say

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for "Be All My Sins Remembered"
> 
> Pre-Andromeda.
> 
> This happened because my brain was trying to avoid writing a long death story and Ella Fitzgerald keeps being played in my office. "Let’s call the whole thing off...."

"This time we shall have her," Sedki said. "It’s her ship, after all."

"Do not underestimate Rebecca Valentine’s slippery nature. I’ve been trying to serve her for a week now, yet she has ‘coincidentally’ avoided me eight times," Jebril answered as he stroked his impressive chin, obviously remembering previous fruitless attempts.

"Her disregard for the law is shameful." Sedki found humans to be interesting and entertaining, but they often had a disdain for rules and procedures that dismayed him. She’d broken the law, and now she avoided the summons. Jebril was chief server, and Sedki’s revered hero, so if _he_ could not serve these documents to this Captain Valentine, she must be wily and contemptuous of the law indeed.

Standing utterly straight, looking very impressive, Jebril buzzed at the Eureka Maru’s hatch. A very young, wide-eyed human answered the door. His hair... Sedki had heard that human hair sometimes looked like that after accidents with electricity. He had a black smear of grease along the left side of his face. "Yah?" the boy asked.

"Captain Valentine, please. This is important," Jebril said.

"Portant?" the child asked.

"I suppose that’s close enough. Yes. Fetch her."

"Fetcher ‘oo, anh?"

That almost sounded like Common. Almost. Jebril chose to take it as such and answered, "Captain Valentine." When the boy continued to look uncomprehending, Jebril said, loudly and slowly, "Your captain. Captain. Rebecca. Valentine."

"Beka?"

"Yes!"

"Why?"

Jebril actually pulled at his own chin in frustration. "I have a legal summons that she must accept."

The boy shoved the pad away with force. "Beka says don’ never accept nuthin’ from nobody never-ever. Don’ want dis t’ing, not payin’ for it, can’t make me."

Sedki had never heard anyone pronounce A’s the way he did.

"You don’t have to pay for this. Valentine will--" When Jebril saw how the boy’s expression darkened, he amended, "She broke the law and has to answer to the courts. She has to pay fines."

"Fines. Yah, seen fines. Dragans nail ya up to a big cross and let ya slowly droop to death. I didn’ see Beka do nuthin’. Think yer a crook anna liar. Think you should leave now. I’ll close yer hand inna door if you don’ move it now, and I’m not listening to nuthin’ else from you. Take a hike!" The hatch door closed emphatically. When Jebril put his finger to the door, he received a nasty electric shock.

"That went well," Sedki finally said.

"She’s importing ferals from slave worlds as employees now just to stymie due process. This isn’t over, Sedki. I’m simply choosing another time to continue it."

Sedki followed Jebril away, even more convinced that he’d chosen to emulate the right civil servant.

  


* * *

Laughing, Beka slapped Harper on the back. "You have a gift for playing violent ignorance. That was great!"

Harper bounced happily. "Hey, it’s nice to know that even chinheads start talking slower and much louder when people don’t understand the language."

"Perseids," Rev corrected, crossing his furry arms.

"Poh-_tah_-to. That was fun, Beka. Ya got anyone else I can mouth off to?"

"You’ll have to wait a bit," Beka answered. "You wanna do something mechanically oriented until then?"

"Hell, yeah. The Maru’s like one big toy, you know?"

As Harper bounced away, Rev said, "Beka, I don’t like using Harper in this way. He _is_ ignorant. To his mind, the law is probably set by brutal slavers, as it is on his world. Here the law is inconvenient, but not evil."

"Not evil? Rev, where else can people dock? They might as well try to fine me for letting my heart beat. I’m avoiding the servers for as long as I can in the interest of _my_ money continuing to collect interest in my own accounts, where it really belongs. As for Harper’s thoughts on the law, I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit for brains. And why not take advantage of Harper’s newness before everybody gets to know who he is?" Beka paused. "And that’s the _only_ way I’m taking advantage of you."

Harper had drifted back in, gleefully singing, "Breaking the law, _breaking_ the law," under his breath. "You know me so well, boss. You sure you don’t want to take advantage of me in other ways? I give a great back rub. It would be just you, me, and my violent ignorance. I c’n learn ya my philosophy."

"Beka," Rev said, sounding very disapproving. Harper’s moments of extreme willingness to please unsettled him, since he seemed to think that one day Beka would find the temptation to take advantage as far as the kid would let her--which would be far--too hard to turn down. She’d tell him that he needed to have more faith if not for the Wayist lecture she’d probably get in answer.

Rev could be hilariously upright about the law sometimes. What really made it hilarious was that he knew full well that the Maru operated in pirate ways now and then. Nobody made much of a profit in shipping and salvage otherwise.

Harper rolled his eyes. "Rev, I know you mean well, but it’s not like Beka’s corrupting me. She’s sure as hell not corrupting me in any fun ways. Besides, I’m already plenty corrupted. And getting lectured about my moral deficiencies from a Magog, even a Magog priest, doesn’t fill me with the urge to reform."

Harper’s moments of sharp, acid-tongued pique got her over her worries about his moments of extreme willingness to please. The kid wasn’t a doormat. She wished he could trust Rev more, but considering his childhood it was probably an amazing thing that he could stand to be in the same room with Rev.

Trying to soothe, Beka said, "It’s not like this trick will work much longer anyway, Rev. People will eventually figure out that Harper speaks Common a little more comprehensively than we let on. A little." She smiled at the answering eye roll.

Rev took on a vaguely prissy pose that almost started Beka laughing again. "As long as we are not _using_ him."

Harper predictably answered, "Hey, Beka, _use_ me, baby."

Beka sighed dramatically. "Teenage hormones."

"Older than that, okay?" Then Harper said, his face looking utterly innocent, "Rev, I like being helpful. I just want to contribute in a positive way to the team dynamic."

"Your halo’s crooked," Beka said, smirking.

"I prefer to think of it as ‘jaunty,’ and you’re one to talk."

"I don’t know who the worst influence is," Rev said.

Beka and Harper pointed a thumb at one another simultaneously.

 

### End


End file.
